Similarly to anxiety, anger is only a response to stress or danger, whether real or perceived.

Anger damages your body

Anger triggers adrenaline and cortisol in your body, which is helpful when the need is real but which can be very damaging when sustained over long periods of time. It makes you "see red" by draining the blood flow from your vitals and concentrating it in your heart area. This deprives your digestive system, your immune system, your reproduction system and tires your heart, to mention only a few of the negative effects on your body. It floods your blood with sugar which can also lead to diabetes in time if it happens too often, not to mention mood swings and possibly putting on weight because of the peaks and drops in your blood sugar.

Make your anger work for you

You must learn to curb your anger. There is a two year old in you who is so happy to be in control and to throw tantrums randomly that when you decide to put your foot down and manage your anger in your own terms, she might play up a bit and find all sorts of excuses: "he made me do this", "I can't help it", "anger is healthy, repressing emotions isn't", "it runs in the family"... In fact, anger needs to be vented but certainly not on other people's or on things. It is true that repressed anger is unhealthy but this is not an excuse to indulge in destructive anger.

I know a client who when she gets angry goes to her garden and does a good hour of weeding. What could you do that could vent this pent up energy? Breaking tiles for a piece of art? Have a cold shower? Blitz through your house to get rid of clutter and clean it from top to bottom? You'll find what works for you.

Learn to step back and watch your anger

What is most important is that you understand that you are not your emotions. Learn to step back in your mind and ask yourself "why am I letting that person/fact anger me?" It's time to take responsability: noone makes you angry, you just allow it to take over. It's not always easy to understand the role you play in your own anger but this is the starting point of controlling it. As long as you continue to believe that anger is someone else's responsibility, you won't be able to manage it.  

Recognise when something has triggered your anger. You don't have to be nice all the time. If someone upsets you: mentally acknowledge it and think about what you can do about it. Can you remove the influence of that person? Can you work on your emotional response? Why did this comment or person irritate or anger you so much? Is there guilt underlying your anger? Or fear?

If you are surrounded by angry people or are the target of unwarranted anger from others, even complete strangers, then ask yourself the question: "Is there something that has made me angry in the past or now that I am not dealing with?" Invariably if you delve deeply into your emotional world, you will find the answer. Until you do, you might continue to be the target of these apparently random acts of anger against you.

Hypnotherapy is a very effective anger management tool, to make an appointment, call 07914606729.