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Anges the Soul Awakener

How hard do you want it to be?

This question was at the heart of a discussion I had with a friend last week and it seems that the Universe has decided to hone in on this one so that I share my learning curve on it.
 
We all go through challenges in life and sometimes they are really big. What I find is that all too often, we refuse the help that is at our disposal. Why do we do that? I, for a fact, was nicked named Superwoman by some friends because I would not accept any help and would always do things for others. I was just wired that way. Except that the inevitable happened: one day I collapsed from so much "independence". I learnt my lesson although my partner still complains about me being so "independent".
 
Why did I do this? Because I had been labelled as a child as the "independent" and the "strong" one. I didn't have a choice: my parents were too busy pursuing other things. I was a middle child too and if it not unusual for middle children to be left to their own device whilst parents focus most of their attention on the elder (to make sure they are progressing ok) and on the little one because it is their last one and they don't want to miss a thing. So I grew up having to cope on my own emotionally most of the time. Add to this disposition (imposed might I say) a few betrayals by parents and friends: and I swore that I would never ask for help or depend upon someone else ever again.
 
No need to say that this is a very unhealthy pattern, just as it is unhealthy to depend on others for everything. No: life is about give and take and we must have balance. It's ok to give but it is also ok to receive. Very often, with women, I am having to help them unlearn the Superwoman syndrome. Besides, when you are a superwoman, you create this protection around you that makes you unreachable and unapproachable. It is not unusual for Superwomen to take a long time to find a partner or soul mate that feels like an equal, but although they can't see it: they are partly to blame for it.
 
So I am asking you today to soften. Accept help when it is offered. After all, if it is offered, someone really wants to help you. Of course, be discriminate and decline offers with strings attached. More importantly, ask for help. I know I still struggle with that one because if I ask, I might have to face the pain of rejection, and thats a pain that I know too well. But unless you are clear about your needs and how you need others to meet them, you cannot expect to be happy. People are not clairvoyants, at least most of them are not. You need to express yourself and look for help from sources that can give it to you.
 
I am reminded of women who suffer from domestic violence who sometimes believe that there is nothing that can be done for them and who suffer in silence as if trapped in their hellish lives. If only they would stop trying to be Superwomen, if only they stopped trying to be so strong... then they could have a better life.
 
Sometimes too, women don't ask for help because they are ashamed of the mess they are in, they think they are responsible and have been manipulated into thinking that they are... and so they would rather put up with the pain then having to admit what is going on. This is just as silly. There is nothing to be ashamed of in life. Life is like that: things happen, people deceive you... they cheat you (and please don't interpret this statement as me saying that all people are like this) so you feel responsible for what happened to you. Nothing could be further from the truth.
 
And if you don't know who to turn for help, then do what I did four years ago: pray. Prayers are always answered and then help will be on its way. You don't have to try to understand how: just let the Universe unfold its wisdom for you. But until you take your guard down and ask for help... it cannot be given to you.
 
Blessings of light and love

Who is living your life?

Dear Ladies of Light
 
Just a question: who is living your life? Is it your banker? Is it your boss? Is it your spouse, partner or boyfriend? Is it your children? Is it your neighbour or what other people might think?
 
Asking yourself this question is essential because it will lead you to discover where you have given out your power. When I was thirty, I realised that I had lived most of my life to please others, mainly my parents. I had studied and completed a translation degree and a law degree with merit to the great satisfaction and pride of my parents. I had married. I had a child... I was working as an international lawyer in a very competitive environment (mergers and acquisitions) and travelling the world for the demands of a high flying job.
 
My sister reminded me recently that at that point, I started mosaics and writing and also becoming a little more quirky. And she reports me having told her "I have been a good daughter, now it's time I lived for myself". I don't think I realised before then that I had lived a life of compliance to other people's expectations of me. And don't get me wrong, my children were the best thing I ever did plus my job really got me some golden opportunities, one of which was to move to England, so I don't have any regrets.
 
There might be however, circumstances where it is not appropriate to give your power out. And in effect, if I look back to when I was a teen ager, I wanted to be a teacher, working with children or a child psychologist or an artist. So nothing to do with law and languages really. But then, my parents talked me out of all these options and said international law would be best suited to my intellectual capacities. Aha. They were not wrong. But what should prevail: what should be or what your heart tells you to do?
 
Going back to the question: who lives your life? It's ok if you are happy with someone else dictating your choice. Then don't change anything about it. But my guess is: when someone else is living your life, you are not really happy. You probably think something like: I have every reason to be happy, why is it I feel so shallow, tired and depressed? Well, your wings have been clipped, your dreams have been curtailed. It's time to reclaim your dreams.
 
So may I invite you to meditate or ponder on this question sometime today or this week: who is living your life?
 
A bright day to you

Vegetarian

As some of you know, this week is national vegetarian week in the UK and it is just impossible to resist the urge to share about vegetarianism this week. When else would I? It's an invitation too tempting to resist. For those who absolutely want to remain meat eaters, please ignore and skip this one.
 
The first time I met a vegetarian, I was twenty something, an exchange student in England. She became a very dear friend of mine (and still is a very dear friend of mine). I had never heard of the fact that some people did not eat meat. And if you put it in the context of my upbringing, it makes sense. As most of you know by now, I am French... the country of "cuisine" and good meat. Or is it? A French vegetarian is about as rare as a Texan vegetarian or even an Argentinian vegetarian: considered a heresy by their peers and an anomaly. And like most French people that I know (especially in my family circle): I thought she had chosen to be vegetarian to make things more difficult for others. I could see the logic in it but what a problem it was for me and others who were so uneducated about it. And what about when they came over to dinner? What to do?
 
The second vegetarian I met was my very dear brother-in-law... and to be honest, I met a couple of rare ones since but not that many. So how did I become a vegetarian? First of all, I started off by buying organic meat some years ago. I had it in my mind that that was the priority and that somehow by magic I made it easier on the process if it was organic because at least the animals were well fed and probably had much better living conditions.... but something at the back of my mind nagged at me. I just couldn't fathom the idea of slaughter houses. Of course, I have been brought up in a country where you buy your meat from a "boucherie" where dead animals are exposed crudely (including to flies) and don't look like those neat little pieces under cellophane that have been pumped up with red so they don't look like dead meat.
 
There was a thought that I couldn't dislodge: organic or not, killing animals for food in barbaric conditions wasn't acceptable. I am not aware that organic meat was killed any differently than non organic one and couldn't find a reason to be comfortable with it. It was really nagging me. All the more because the meat that I found the most sublime was lamb... so a baby sheep... The difficulty is that as children, we are served meat without being explained what it is and by the time we know, we have learnt to dissociate with a lot of things: it doesn't matter anymore: it's tasty and everyone else does it, so it must be ok.
 
Then I met my beautiful step daughter (another inspirational veggie) and she said something that struck a cord to my daughter, one day, as Ondine was asking her about being a vegetarian. She said to my daughter: You know I actually like the taste of meat, I have just chosen not to eat it. I guess this comment sank into my unconscious and it started growing like a seed....
 
Then my elder son decided to become a vegetarian and I decided to back him up. The expression backing up might surprise you but you will very soon understand. His French relatives, whenever he was visiting them, FORCED him to eat meat because it was unhealthy to be vegetarian. He was then eleven years old. So I went on the internet and researched on was it safe to be vegetarian for children and found all the evidence I needed. It made me realise that perhaps the reason I hadn't made the big jump was because I was afraid of not nourishing myself properly.... and having lacks. With this knowledge, I was able to literally fight my son's right to be vegetarian when visiting France. But it still took me a little time to come round to stop eating meat. What I did instead (and I hope this will make other vegetarians smile) was to thank the spirit of the animal for providing me a meal...
 
And then I went on a detox... (which by the way I used to consider a real snob fad - it seems that the story of my life has been to work through my own prejudices and judgments) and naturally never went back to eating meat. It felt SOOOO good not to eat meat for a month that I decided I was not going to look back.
 
I don't know if this is relevant, but I never really decided to be vegetarian. Maybe my French upbringing was holding a very strong grip on me... maybe I didn't want to upset the applecart and the brave decision of my son helped me to jump on the bandwaggon... It doesn't matter, I am now a vegetarian and happy to be. I recognise it is not for everyone but I want you to consider this:


- the meat industry is pretty horrible to animals and even if they sometimes are treated more humanely in certain farms, the day they stop being productive is usually the day they are sentenced to death (unless they find refuge in a sanctuary)
- slaughter houses are slaughter houses.... and I don't need to visit one to decide to stop eating meat
- eating meat is not necessary for your health at all: in fact, if you take on board vegetarianism the right way, you will learn a lot about nutrition and won't rely on eating meat for your daily intake of nutrients (which will probably increase your health)
- non organic meat is packed with herbicides, pesticides and hormones which build up in the body and can create chronic illnesses and even cancer...

In effect, I had worked my way to vegetarianism because even long before I stopped eating all meat, I only had meat once or twice a week. And maybe if you are not ready to take the step to vegetarianism today, I would encourage you to reduce your intake of meat for your own health. It is only in our industrialised society with mass production that we are able to afford meat every day, but at what cost to the animals? I cannot look at those rows of chicken breasts without thinking of caged birds with their beaks cut off with not even space to walk or have a stroll. This is very real. Cheap meat is that: you buy suffering. And can you imagine if all live creatures are constantly pumping hormones through their bodies, when you eat "unhappy" meat and even dead meat, you are ingesting fear and suffering hormones. And as an energy worker, I have to say that as long as you do that, you feed your own suffering and fear if only because that's what you eat.
 
I don't know if this can be food for thought for you ladies of light. I think the reason most of us continue to eat meat is because we dissociate: we pretend that what we are eating is not what we are eating. Let's stop doing this today. Let's be conscious about what we eat.
 
Do you know that children, toddlers and even pets can be vegetarian and healthy. I recommend, if only for a better understanding of your vegetarian friends, a book called "Vegan Freaks". It is so informational about all the topics I have been mentioning above. I initially read it because Veganism seemed a bit of a mystery to me... and it's made me want to join them.
 
I hope you will forgive me for maybe making this read not very comfortable. Some truths can't be watered down. I just want to share something a check out operator said to me at my supermarket a few months back, when he saw that I was buying meat and vegetarian stuff (no I don't impose my choices on my family).... "do you realise that we are actually saving a specie by eating them?" I looked at them a little surprised "the reason is that all these cows would be instinct if it wasn't for us eating them, so we are actually doing them a favour": now that's what I call dissociation. If it wasn't so sad, I would find it funny.
 
A good day to you

Age

I am getting increasingly annoyed (yes you read me right - Miss positive is getting annoyed LOL) by people's relation to age and to ageing.
 
First of all, I find that far too many people have cliches about what it is like to be a certain age... and until they reach it or I should say by the time they do, either they realise how wrong they have been... or they make their own beliefs into reality and fortify the myths of that particular age.... Hey: age is a cage.....
 
I have already written about teenage and how parents but also other people placate cliches left right and centre on our teenagers who already struggle to find their own identity and who could really do without those really annoying prejudices. But it pervades everything...
 
Most recently, I have been confronted with people who believe that because they reach a certain age they become "forgetful"... loose their memory... or whatever else they are supposed to lose because they have reached that age.
 
Well I am not a person to say that you shouldn't accept your age, on the contrary. There is nothing sadder to me than someone who still pretend they are teenagers when well into their forties... but at the same time, we all age differently and I have met some extremely old people who were only twenty years old.
 
You are only as old as you think you are. In fact, there are some scientific studies that have proven that you start aging the day you believe you are getting old. Isn't this an incentive to stop all that nonsensical thinking about ageing? In India, yogis live to a hundred or over and keep both their minds and bodies into a shape that put us all to shame. So don't tell me it's not possible.
 
I believe we are all victims (I love that word haha) of premature ageing in the West for the following reason:
 
- we resist ageing and have a cult of youth that is completely ridiculous
- we take very poor care of our bodies and our health and expect doctors to fix everything with pills
- we don't exercise half as much as we should but then again, it's not all about exercising
- we have poor mental hygiene (we sit in our own negative mind far too much)
- we act seriously, thinking that being adult is being serious when nothing could be further from the truth (a sixty something friend of mine delighted me recently with a story of her bouncing on her bed at night)
- we live lives that make us unhappy and that make us cringe (where have all those dreams gone for God's sake)
- we feed ourselves with total rubbish most of the time...
- we live in fear
- we use age as an excuse to be lazy

For example, I have always been forgetful... and probably always will be. When will I start using this as an excuse to say that I am ageing? I hope never. It has also been scientifically proven that you can grow new cells in your brain at any age, contrary to what was commonly believed until recently. So we age because we get lazy. And we use age as an excuse not to do the things that would do us good. And that's a premise from hypnotherapy: your negative mind will use any excuse to keep you from doing the things that are good for you, so the question is "are you going to let it do this to you?"
 
So my statement is: I am 43 years young. And I aim to reach my nineties in full health and full capacity both physically and mentally. I have a programme for this.... you can ask me what it is. Feel free to feedback on this letter.
 
Have a wonderful day

Time wrap

There is a lovely community I am a part of that challenges us every day with a question that we can answer in our own individual blogs and recently the question was "where are you running to or from?" I am not trying to be lazy here by sending you some old material... I just thought this entry was worth sharing with you because we, at some point in our lives, are often running towards something or from something and we are not much the wiser for it.
 
Personally,I have always hated running, even to catch a train or a bus. I would almost prefer missing it than running for it. And in a way, I think this epitomises my life: I don't like to be rushed. It take it almost as a challenge. How on earth, then did I survive fifteen years in the competitive world of corporate lawyers? I don't even know myself, but I do remember never giving in to the rat race. I had to take the time to do things properly, to think things through... and when I could, to resist the urge to rush through everything.

Recently, however, in an effort to try to get more money in (I am self employed) I pushed for things to happen in my practice and I ended up "running" through my days. The worst was, this time, it was self inflicted. And I didn't like it one bit. Not for me anymore. As a result, I lacked the time for me to meditate, to contemplate... to let spirit inspire me. So now I know better: I let go and let God.

Sometimes I smile when I hear about the school run: this time of day when all parents jump in their cars to take their children to school or pick them from school. And for most parents, that's what it feels like: a massive rat race. Yuk! I am not saying I don't get sucked into it myself occasionally but I Iike to approach it with a relaxed attitude, as much as I can.

Life shouldn't be a race. For God's sake, we are supposed to enjoy every single moment and it seems we rush through things and forget where the important things are. I do. I am not saying I don't. But how little judgement we have. The art of living is about the art of slowing down. And for this, children and wise people (which is the only name I like to give to elders) are our best teachers.
 
Another aspect I want to touch upon is the Time wrap. I learnt about this technique almost by chance but it has stuck with me. Time wrapping is the art of asking life to give you enough hours in the day to do the things that you have to do. For those of you who are open to angelic intervention, asking the angels for help will ease the process. And basically, after you have done this, two things will happen:

  1. you will have entrusted your stress about not having enough time to do the things you want to do to the angels or God or a bigger entity than you (and a wiser one too), which enables you to let go of the worry
  2. you will relax into your day with a sense of trust that everything that needs to happen will happen and that your day does not need to be stressful or rushed
    as if by miracle, everything will fit into place as if time had been stretched to fit to your needs

There is a tip to make it work: you need to relinquish control over what you think needs to happen in your day. So provide you do this, everything will fall into place in grace and easiness. I have used time wraps to be the other side of town (Bristol can be extremely congested due to the poor quality of our public transport system) in less than 30 minutes which can be considered a miracle. I have achieved this without speeding, without stressing... and without cheating. The only thing I did was to trust that I would have enough time and resisted checking the clock on my car. And there I was: on time, against all odds.
We need to challenge our perception of time. Time is not what we think. We live by the clock and this poisons our days. I am not saying that there is not the need to follow some kind of order when you have meetings and get together with others.... but when you let go of time, just for one day, you find that everything miraculously falls into place. Give it a try. Maybe on a day when being late is not so much of consequence... and see what happens. And please, share with me.
 
A good day to all of you

True love

I was reading a book in bed this morning that triggered a whole train of thoughts as the author seemed to sum up 12 years of married life for me. Some of you know that I am divorced and now with a new partner. My first marriage taught me a lot about love, through trial and error. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the role model of my parents as a couple wasn't the healthiest one so I had a lot to learn. And if you don't mind I'd like to share with you some of the life lessons that I got from it.
 
I did not love my first husband. I thought I did, but I didn't. True, I gave him a lot and I gave our relationship 150% of my time and dedication. But the big mistake I did was to love his potential and not his true self. This is very common in women who are healers. They see someone dysfunctional and think they can fix them with their immense reservoir of love. Not so. This took me 12 years and a lot of heartache to learn. The truth is, that there was a lot of things about him that were completely incompatible with me and I tried so hard to make things work but probably made things worse by not accepting him exactly as he was. And the reality is true love is about that.

The real catalyst for change in any relationship (and here you could also apply this to your friends or children) is complete acceptance of them as they are without needing to judge or change them in any way. The moment you stop judging yourself or your loved ones, you are free of the mind and you make room for love, for joy and for peace.
 
If you cannot love your partner/friends/children as they are, then look hard at yourself and what you are doing. Stop the mind games. Stop the clinging. Stop asking them to patch up your own unhappiness. You are the one who makes you happy. No one else can. Any relationship where you rely on someone else to make you happy (which is the model for all romantic story in the media, literature etc) you are bound to failure. You enter an addictive pattern of requiring someone else to make you right. I believe, and I know some of you won't like what I write, that we need to be happy first and THEN and only then, can we meet someone that we will truly love as I said above. Any attempt to look for comfort and happiness from a third party is bound to failure in the short or long term.

So be more loving to yourself and to your loved ones: love everyone exactly as they are.

Blessings to you

Wishing well

I had a very special encounter recently, with a woman whose work and life I admire, and she put words onto a spiritual practice that I have been practising for a long time and that I thought might inspire you - but maybe you already do it anyway. I just love how it was encapsulated by two words "the wishing well" (well technically three).
 
Rejoice in other people's success, because this positive energy will benefit you and rub off on you and bring you abundance in return. How many of us get jealous when someone has what we want? I used to be this way. I would see friends whose parents had so much money that they didn't have to worry about mortgages... or had amazing villas on dream islands with swimming pools and I thought "hey what about me? Why don't I get all these things?" We are all human and we have all done it.
 
And then at some point, I can't remember how and why, I started being happy for others when they were happy. And I said to them "well done you" when they achieved something or had something good happening to them. I went even further than that: I would rejoice in total's strangers signs of wealth. For example, at my brother's wedding last year, there was a man who parked his 4x4 in front of the church (obviously from the wedding just before us) which was a monster car. I mean a real monster car. And I know that probably only a year or two before I would have felt contempt, not jealousy, but really there is not that much difference between the two. Sometimes contempt comes when you can't admit that you are envious. So to get back to this man and his enormous, he had obviously money and I could feel that a lot of people from the party cringed whislt looking at him. He was showing off his money and was being judged for it. I found him quite endearing to be honest: he was like a little boy who had a toy car and lots of gadgets and his enthusiasm was infectious and deep inside I felt like saying "well done man, you've got a great car".
 
This is the practice of the wishing well. I am not saying I do it all the time, but I love it. Sending good vibes to people. Because what come goes around comes around and if you think good thoughts about people who do well (maybe it's someone who has sold a piece of art where you struggle to sell yours, or had their book published when you've been trying for four years.... ), then success is bound to come your way as well. The reason for this is that you will attract it by thinking "rich". You can think rich by believing that there is room for everyone in this planet and that just because someone you know has had their book published doesn't mean your spot has gone for your book.
 
So start this wishing well practice and see how your life starts shifting... you will be surprised.
 
And when I came home from meeting that very special person I mentioned up there at the beginning of my email, I noticed the beautiful wishing well that I have in my garden near my gates and it is now a reminder every day of the blessings of the wishing well. Be a wishing well for all. Wish all those around you, including the perfect strangers, well.
 
A good day to you ladies
 
With bright blessings and well wishes

Daffodils

I have been thoroughly enjoying the past few weeks with the lovely weather we have had in England and the flowers coming out and bringing songs of hope and of nature being replenished and renewed after the long grey winter... that's how winters feel to me, anyway. And this winter, because last summer was not exactly grand, felt like a real drag.
 
This week-end, an adventure park opened its doors nearly on our doorstep and we decided to go and explore it with our youngest three year old son. As we were walking around the grounds of this extraordinary place, we went down a path that lead to another path bordered with trees and the most amazing daffodils on both sides of it. It was truly magnificent and I was savouring every bit of this amazing view when I noticed a couple with two children who were picking them. I got annoyed by it to the point of feeling an urge to do something about it. My partner, in his English wisdom, told me not to bother, but I needed to do something about it. So I looked for a ranger and found one relatively easily. I said in a manner as diplomatic as possible that I had seen a couple picking up daffodils in the park and maybe he would want to know about it. I was ready to leave when he thanked me with a smile and added "I would have done something about it but this happens to be the owner of the park with her children".
 
I walked away feeling relieved but a little shameful. I had been so quick to get upset. And it made me think how often we judge things at face value. I am not saying I would not do the same thing again as I believe that it is our duty to preserve nature and I really dislike people who act in an uncivil manner. But it showed me how quickly I am ready to judge. It almost caught me by surprise because I like to think of myself as unjudging.
 
But the reality is that often things are not what they seem. And I would like to invite all of you to step back when you are next confronted with a situation that makes you judge, and try to refrain from making those judgments. When I went back to my walk after talking to that ranger, I felt much more peaceful but also very aware of all the dirty looks this woman was getting from passers by. It was a painful reminder of what I had just done myself.
 
And when we finally left the grounds of this park where she lives, she was waiting at the gates with the daffodils that she had collected and actually offered me a bouquet of such flowers. I felt such gratitude for this woman that it was a dire contrast from when I first caught a glimpse of her picking the flowers of her own garden. I couldn't resist taking a picture of it to add it to this letter as they will surely remain a wonderful reminder of how wrong I had been.
 
Nobody knows what is really going on. We don't even know what is really happening in our lives. Sometimes we label something as horrible whereas it can be a blessing in disguise. Or other times we are oblivious of how we make things so much worse by how much we care? Is it really caring? or is it judging? Can we be a bit more respectful of others? And allow them to make their own mistakes (if that is what it is?)? Can we relax a little more about what we see... and let things unfold without us wanting to interfere?
 
... and maybe I should have followed my partners' advice... but then maybe again no, because enquiring about it has lead me to see things for what they were and give me a chance to share with you a wonderful tale... of the white daffodils.
 
A lovely day to all of you

The Fool

Last night I couldn't sleep because there were some works on the motorway into the small hours of the morning and then my toddler boy cried so I ended up sleeping on the floor in his room. But before I did this, I started writing my next tarot class about Major Arcana and about the card of the Fool. It is only this morning when I woke up that I realised how timely this piece of writing has been and I couldn't resist sharing it with you.
 
The fool is no ordinary person. He exists before male and female. He has no weight and defies all laws, including gravity. This gives him an incredible freedom. He is totally free and explores things without experience, without fear, without prejudice... The Fool always challenges authority and asks the obvious question. In fact, at the court, the Fool was the only one who was entitled to make fun or challenge the authority of the King. And in many card games, having a fool in your hand gives you an extra advantage.
Yet, in our society, when we qualify someone as a fool, it is because he defies convention or ignores spoken or unspoken rules. But he is genuine and totally innocent.
The Fool is immense in his wisdom because he is the only one who knows that he is right and he doesn’t mind people thinking that he is wrong. If someone doesn’t understand what he is doing, or what he is saying, he will pretend it was a riddle or a joke. He is sometimes called the Joker in certain playing decks. But the truth is because of his incredible clarity, he cannot pretend to keep appearances. If he has to do something, he will, whatever the cost. The reason for this is that he trusts that if it is the right thing, and his trust is unshakable, then spirit will look after him. He has taken the plunge, the most challenging of all quests: that for growth. He will not compromise his own truth to others, because to him there are no others.
The fool also represents the leap of faith that it takes to follow your bliss, instead of fitting into society. I get it a lot in readings to symbolise new beginnings. The leap of faith in the benevolence of the world. This leap of faith is totally absurd to the “normal” person, the one that watches the news and buys a life insurance. This faith of the Fool is represented by him heading for the cliff with the tranquil disposition that only a blind person could embrace. But he is not blind: he knows that wherever he goes, because he has total faith in himself and his destiny and trusts the Universe to support him, which is the closest you can be to believing in God, he knows that whatever he is going through is perfect and he does not try to fight against it. He continues the journey and goes with the flow. He does not doubt for one moment that if he reaches the cliff, the earth will grow under his feet to allow him to continue to walk and progress.
When you can reach the energy of the fool, life becomes magic. You are able to accept everything, every circumstances of your life or other people’s lives as perfect, despite the fact they don’t make sense to us humans. That’s because the Fool is not really human. He is the closest you can find to spirit. He is pure. He carries a magic wand but he uses it as a stick, which to me, means that he does not try to impress with his ego. He is ego-less. On his wand, he hanged a bag that cannot possibly contain what is needed for his journey, as it is so small. But truly, you need very little to go through life and I can only wonder what he has placed in his bag. And in reality, I believe that we should all strive for simplicity. This could be the subject of a whole meditation.
The Fool is the opposite of law and order and would have probably be condemned for heresy by the Church and in effect, he can be an extremely dangerous example for a community. He is a free thinker. He will not go by the rule. He has no rule. The Fool is the antagonism to life insurance and legal actions. He runs away from explanations and reassurances. He does not need them because he is free of worry. And given that worry is the most useless thing we can do with our minds, we could learn a lesson or two from the Fool. The Fool sees through the illusion. He has the innocence of a child who is brave enough to say “the King is naked”. He knows that even if this costs him his life, death is only an illusion. The Fool is not afraid of death.
Some people might think that the Fool is irresponsible and immature. But by looking deeper he is the most responsible and mature card on the deck because he has no weight. This means that he does not create karma. His presence is as light as a feather. He inspires in only the most subtle ways. People can choose to ignore him and that won’t disturb him at all. He might smile when this happens. Or he might send loving thoughts, as Jesus did, when men turned against him and said “Father, forgive them because they do not know what they are doing”.
The sun always shine on the Fool. His mind is quiet. His heart peaceful. He will leave no trace on this planet other than a cool breeze and a sense of wonder.
The Fool dares to dream, dares to try because he does not take someone else's word for it. And in our times of depression where every one fears, the Fool has a refreshing quality. He tells us that there is hope, that we must continue to pursue our dreams no matter what. That there will always be people to tell us that it is better to have a job that brings security (false of course because where do you find security in the job market these days) rather than something that makes you jump with joy and want to get up in the morning and sing.

If the Fool has a song, it would be a song of confidence and joy. One of those little tunes that you sing to yourself as a child when you play.

In French, the Fool is "le Fou", the madman, the one who lost his reason and the Fool is a reminder to us all who thinks of ourselves as normal that madness is only just a step away from sanity. Madness might not be what you think. I can't help playing with letters and words and seeing too that le Fou contains UFO... and how many people who have seen UFOs have been considered as fools.

The Matrix is the journey of a hero that starts challenging the "normal world" only to find out that everyone is "dreaming" and living in illusions. He is the Fool... not a fool.
My next tarot class is taking place on the 22nd April, 9.30 to 3 pm and will cover all the Major Arcana (of which the Fool is one). Each class can be taken separately.
 
If you would like to join, please call me.

Dreams

This morning instead of doing the things I had to do... I did what my heart sang me to do. So I felt the laundry, the bank, the writing, the sweating behind me and just sat and enjoyed being alive. I browsed on my communities... and my favourite of all is www.gaia.com. And then I naturally did what I have been wanting to do for years...
 
and here is my dream
 
Please take a little bit of your time to browse my dream... give me some feedback... see if you can share it with me...
 
It's only a start and I will be adding to it. So do not hesitate to come back regularly. But if already you could sign my guest book and give me some inspiring feedback, that would be most welcome. If you know anyone who might share my dream or be inspired by it... forward this email to them. I am not able to post pictures on the site and the banner needs working on but in a way I like that since this forces me to focus on essentials.
 
But after all is said and done, sit down and take five minutes to think about your dreams. What dream have you shelved because it seemed impossible or too far out to reach? Now that I think of it, take five minutes a day... every day. And share your dreams with me. Let me know what they are.

Blessings to all

Bliss

I went to a lovely event organised in Bath yesterday called the Love Life Roadshow and met a lady called Lucinda Drayton, a wonderful singer who used to sing for the group Bliss and who has now gone solo. I love her work so much I wanted to share it with you. She has really added to my life with her peaceful and deep music.
 
I feel me and Lucinda have something in common as we both left our mainstream careers to follow our dreams. Lucinda left mainstream pop music to walk her own way. She has been on a spiritual path and I can even say retreat (I hope she won't mind me mentioning this) from the world. She is now back with added wisdom and inspiration. Her voice is heavenly, her lyrics are inspirational... and as I work with angels I can really tell you that angels skate on her voice to bring us healing and peace.
 
One of my favourite is "Naked" and Lucinda was kind enough to sing it for us yesterday as an introduction to her meditation workshop. Naked is part of the album called A hundred thousand angels. It brought tears to my eyes. Unfortunately I couldn't find it on U-tube to share with you. She has a website:
www.blissfulmusic.com
 
Here is a sample of her music on U-tube.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onVGxenNVsc
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiGFosYxwNU
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGr0Yaikatk
 
She also offers meditation workshops and more. I hope you will enjoy her music as much as I enjoy it myself.

Forgiveness

It's been a little quiet and the reason is that I was preparing for various events and also writing a book. It's very exciting times for me but as a result the inspirational letters are not as frequent.
 
Before I start I would like to welcome my new readers and let you know again that you can opt out of this letter at any time. But also that your questions, feedback and ideas for things you want me to write about are always welcome. In fact, in a short period of time, I will be opening a forum on my website where we can chat and exchange ideas on the theme of the letters or anything else you might want to talk about. It will have to wait after I finish my book so I appreciate your patience. Do not hesitate in the meantime to ask any question that you have, and I will do my best to answer it.
 
A few events coming up soon:
 
- the mosaic workshop is still open and the dates are updated on my website, here. The principle is that you pay a lump sum of £60 for five hours of classes that you use at your leisure on days when the studio is open: usually day time on a Monday.
 
- tarot classes are starting 25th March in Almondsbury (in my home), 9.30 to 12.30, at £25 per class. Its a serie of four consecutive Wednesdays. The content of the classes is now posted on my website here. Most tarot classes teach you about the meaning of cards. I will be teaching about why tarot works and how it does. I will offer a ceremony to open your third eye with the help of reiki, so that it is done gently and safely with a high level purpose. One of the aims of the course will be to help you know how to ask the right question so that you get the answer that you need. But we will also cover important issues such as how to keep your deck clear and when not to do a reading. To book the first session, click here.
 
- 30st and 31st March: reiki I workshop (9.30 to 3.00 pm): to read more about reiki, please go here. To sign up for the class, go here.
 
- 1st April: Free reiki clinic for women, children and babies in Almondsbury, everyone welcome. Please call before you come to get directions as to where we are: 07914606729. This clinic is held every first Wednesday of the month. If you know of someone who is ill or weak and needs some support bring them along. If are reiki I and would like to join a lovely reiki share with like minded ladies, you are welcome too. Sorry no men but we can send some distance healing to men you love who might need it.
 
- 16th April until 26th April - Art Exhibition at the Thornbury Town Hall I will be exhibiting one of my pieces from the Crystal Clear Exhibition as part of the Severn Vail Art Trail starting on 2nd of May
 
- 27th April: Abundance Now workshop. This lovely workshop will help you be confident about your right for abundance despite those difficult times. Giving in to the poverty consciousness is not the answer. Discover techniques and tips to help bring more abundance of love, money, work, leisure or friendship in your life. To find out more about the course, click here. To sign up for the course, click here. This course is also available in home study, click here to find out.
 
- 2nd May - Severn Vail Art Trail - collective exhibition at the Whitsun Hall for more information, click here
 
- 6th may - Free Reiki clinic (see entry above)
 
- 11th and 12th May: reiki I workshop (9.30 to 3.00 pm): to read more about reiki, please go here. To sign up for the class, go here.
 
- 17th and 18th May: Reiki II workshop (9.30 to 3.00 pm): if you have done reiki I, why not take reiki to the next step by doing the second level. You will learn symbols that will take your practice this much further in every area of your life. People often mistakingly think that reiki II is for people who want to become reiki healer: this is not true. Reiki can enhance any area of your life, including your current profession by bringing clarity, purpose and a very high standard of ethics. To learn more about the workshop, click here. To sign up, click here. If you haven't done your reiki I with me, I would suggest that you purchase my reiki I manual to make sure you are up to scratch with my other students. It can be purchased here.
 
After that I think I'll have a well deserved break with my children, LOL.

I have been given many lessons about forgiveness in my life. Some of the beautiful ones were given to me by very close friends who forgave me in circumstances where I frankly don't know if I would have done the same thing as they did. This inspired me and opened my heart.

To be able to forgive, you must have given up on judgment. They go hand in hand. Most people think however that forgiving is forgetting, and it's not. Forgiving is just letting go of the pain and freeing yourself of the weight of it. It is one of the best gifts you can make to yourself, particularly if you feel you have been a victim. It enables you to regain your power and control over life. You might not have had control over what others have done to you, but you certainly have the power over how you react to that and also over how long you let them rule your life. Do yourself a favour and forgive everyone.

I once heard a father on the radio whose son had been killed by a drunken driver saying he could never forgive the man who accidently killed his son. I felt a great surge of compassion for this man but it seemed to me that having said what he did: he was prolonging the agony and preventing his own healing process. This very intense emotion he was experiencing against the driver was hurting him as well the driver. It wasn't going to give him back his son. The only thing it was doing was hurting him further. I am not judging his reaction, I am trying to show you how it was extremely damaging to him.

I had quite a profound forgiving experience a few months back where a relative of mine gave me a wonderful opportunity of giving back karmically what my friends had so kindly granted me in my twenties. A relative of mine had really hurt my feelings and also aggravated my financial situation through circumstances that I prefer to remain confidential. For over a year, I could not think of him without feeling pain in my heart. And as Christmas came along, the prospect of being face to face with him was very daunting indeed. And then, one day of November, I woke up and felt something had been removed from my heart. I had forgiven him. He didn't apologise, as he never does, but on my end, I didn't need apologies any more: I was free. The feeling was so amazing and beautiful that I sent him an email extending a friendly hand and telling him I wanted us to have a new start. Interestingly enough, he never replied but the next time he turned up at a family gathering, there was real warmth in our greeting and we had a wonderful meal. Since then our relationship has gone from strength to strength.

I had just magically stepped out of the hurt and anger I held on to and freed myself. The interesting thing is that after all that grieving time over what he had done, noone paid attention to the fact that I had forgiven him. I believe that this was my angel making sure that I had truly forgotten at soul level with no trace of ego. He doesn't allow me any space for my own rubbish, to stay polite. Very soon after this mini-miracle, I read in a very spiritual book that the lessons that you learn on your own, without prompting, take you a lot further than those imposed on you. So I actually felt that this act of forgiveness had many blessings in disguise, one of them being that it propelled me further on my spiritual path. I actually thanked my relative for giving me a chance to do so and a lesson so profound.

Namaste and a lovely day to your ladies of light

Anges

News: credit card accepted, Self Love CD and new Abundance Now Kit

I have three very exciting news for you.
 
First news is that I am now able to accept credit cards on my website, which will save you the trouble of having to open a PayPal account. This is very exciting for me as I know it will make things simpler for everyone.
 
The second news is the launch of my Abundance Now Kit. The Kit follows the workshop that was launched at the end of January. It is a home version of the workshop for those who do not have the time to attend or who are too remote to come in person. The Kit contains three parts: the manual, the meditation CD and a free bonus cord cutting session over the phone with me. It is packed with exercises covering visualisation, creative imagination, feng shui and more. Each of those (manual, CD or cord cutting service) can be purchased separately (see my shop in the CD section, the e-book section and the Service section) or in one Kit which will get you started on your abundance journey in no time at all for the incredible price of £20.
 
Here is feedback from a client who has done an abundance practice with me:
 
I did a wish list last Christmas with Agnes and I really didn't believe that much would happen. I must admit I did it more to please her. I wasn't really convinced. What happened next defied my imagination. Most of my wishes (ten wishes) were regarding the health of my boys and myself although i did ask for a car and some designer clothes both of which were granted! I also requested a holiday with the man I was interested in and this too happened much to my surprise. And there was the laptop I am using now, which turned out to be much cheaper and easier to afford than I ever thought possible. The wish that first came true, and very quickly, was regarding my bankrupcy which both upset me, but also worried me deeply (note: this bankruptcy had been the responsibility of her ex-husband). I asked for some help for it all to be brought to an end and within a week I received a letter letting me I had been discharged early. When I received this letter I cried. (...) Another wonderful wish that came true at exactly the right moment was a small cash amount finding it's way into my hands. I'd been worrying about paying for the gas, keeping the house warm enough for the boys, enough hot water for their baths, etc. Shortly afterwards I received a rebate for an overpayment of gas, the sum of £58 was added to my key meter and this was enough to give us hot water and heating for 6 weeks!!"
 
Toni, mother of two
 
The Abundance Kit can be purchased here: http://www.mosaicdreamer.com/userimages/procart33.htm
 
The third news is the launch of my new Self love CD and with Mother's Day coming here in the UK on the 22nd March, this is a perfect present to buy your Mum. My Self love CD will not only offer your Mum hours of relaxation and well being, it will gently teach her to look after herself and stop putting others first all the time. It will also enable her to be more loving of herself, which I find a lot of us women struggle with. But maybe the Self Love CD could benefit a friend who is a Mum or a carer, or yourself. For £12.50, it's really worth the money. Shipping is included for purchases in the UK. For international shipping, please contact me first for a full price.
 
To purchase the Self love CD, go here: http://www.mosaicdreamer.com/userimages/procart36.htm
 
 Voila, that's my bit of exciting news for today.

Green smoothies

Hello dear readers and ladies of light

Green smoothies, Ah. I have been holding back this information for weeks now until   I found the right time. And I feel ready to do so now. I have discovered...   by "chance" (there is no such thing as chance in my world) something that can literally transform your life. If, like me, you have been feeling sluggish... tired... run down... stuck with a weight that is not really suiting you... wanting to feel younger, then read on.

I am not going to talk to you about expensive vitamins... or a miracle potion... Just about food. Live food.

There is this crazy woman who has decided to study chimpanzees' diets to find out how they kept so much healthier than us humans. Ok, I grant it to you, it is a really crazy idea. But what came out of it, is that we don't eat enough greens and that because of this, we slowly but surely age a lot quicker than we should. So we stuff ourselves with vitamin suplements when really we should be changing what we eat. Greens are packed with omega 3 too, why buy the stinky oily fish capsules? My motivation was my elder son refused to take his vitamins... because it felt unnatural (bless him) and I needed to find a way to feel less tired.

Now you will agree with me that there is nothing more difficult than changing your eating habits, especially if you socialise a lot. If you have been on a detox programme, as I have, you know that it aggravates all your friends in no time at all. No, what I am about to share with you is a quiet revolution. One that you don't have to even mention to your friends. The only thing you will have to do is invest in a good (this is the part where you have to spend money on yourself but trust me you won't regret it) blender or liquidizer.

And then buy fresh fruits and salads (my favourite is baby spinach) and make a green smoothie in the morning for your breakfast. What are green smoothies? They are a blend of fruit and green leaf vegetables (no sugar milk or ice cream added) with water that you drink straight from your blender for an incredible energy boost in the morning. I personally advocate having them first thing in the morning before you eat anything else because fruit takes only thirty minutes to digest and having it after something that takes longer will cause the fruit to sit in your stomach undigested and it will start to ferment... causing gas which will completely defeat the purpose of the feel good of this drink.

So one green smoothie a day thirty minutes before you have your breakfast... and then get on with your life as usual. Isn't that an easy change? Not like those complicated nutrition programmes where it feels like a headache even to start with it. The beauty of it is it takes very little time other than having a well supplied fruit bowl... you can play with as many blends as you like to your taste. And store it in your fridge for up to three days. I use a glass bottle as I don't favour plastic but don't let this come in your way. Use your fresh milk plastic bottle to start with. I also used filtered water to add to the blend.

The beauty of a high quality blender, like Vitamix, is that it works as its own dishwasher. I used to have a juicer but two things really annoyed me about it: firstly, there was a lot of waste from the fruit which made me feel bad, secondly, it took ages to dismantle and clean. That, for me, is a huge put off. With my blender: I rince it quickly after I have used it, pour a little hot water and a few drops of washing up liquid (eco friendly) and wiz it again. Job done. Rince it. Let it dry on the rack. Time to dismantle and clean: approximately 25 seconds.

I have done green smoothies now for over two months and I feel a different person. And that's despite my younger son still waking me up at night on a regular basis with colds and nightmares. Yippie!!! And now my children are big fans too so I don't have to worry too much when they don't eat their vegs and fruits... they lap the green smoothies up. They call it "your green juice".

Here is some of my favourite recipes:

  • Banana (can be frozen if you like the feel of something more creamy and decadent), pear (I keep the skin but I take the seeds out) and spinach (a handful) plus filtered water. Proportions would be: 1 banana,   2 pears, a cup of water and a handful of greens. Blend until very smooth. If your smoothie is too fruity, add some greens, if it's too green, add fruits, if too thick, add water. It's best to start with too little water and add on... for obvious reasons. You can also add to it: fresh ginger (a couple of slices of peeled fresh root), mint, basil... plus fresh lemon juice.
  • Banana, pineapple, melon and carrot tops (or any other green - lamb's lettuce is lovely and mild in taste) plus a cup of water.
  • Banana and either blueberries, blackberries, strawberries or raspberries plus mint and water.
  • Mango, cantaloupe melon and pears.... plus spinach and water: it's my daughter's favourite.
  • Watermelon and celery.... for hot days. Do not add water as the watermelon contains all the water you will ever need. Introduce the celery in small dosis to make sure you don't overkill the watermelon.

Greens to use can be: spinach, kale, celery, lettuce, lamb's lettuce, carrot tops, etc.

You can get a lot more recipes in the book by Mrs Boutenko called   Green for Life available in the LOL library, if you are a member... or join, for only £20 entry fee... or buy your own copy. The book is packed with suggested recipes and case studies that will motivate you for the change.

Happy green smoothies

Green blessings

Anges

Reflection

Sometimes this time of year is a good time for reflection. A time to take stock of where we are. It could be any time we choose but I suppose because the new year is about to start, it is a reminder that one year is about to come to completion.
 
It doesn't matter whether you feel you have achieved a lot this year or not. What is more important is to think about whether the life you are leading is making you happy, making you feel satisfied. Depression often comes when our soul's needs are not being met.
 
In fact a lot of my clients, come to see me, not because they have panic attacks, depression or weight problems but more because these phenomena are an expression of the void they feel inside and the nagging that their lives could be better.
 
So I'd like to invite you all to take a quiet moment to think about where you are, to appreciate the things you have (relationships, job, home, etc) and to reflect on what is it you would like different. Just dream big. And sit quietly imagining that you are there. Take as long as you want to enjoy that life that really fits you at soul level. It could be that there is a childhood dream of being a nurse that you never realised because you didn't have the money for the studies or your parents thought you should be something else. Don't disregard these dreams, they nourish your soul. And think about little steps you could take in the new year to make these dreams happen.
 
Two years ago, I joined a slimming club. I never thought I would and felt pretty shameful about it, but now nearly two stones lighter, I am so glad I knocked on the door. I feel more beautiful, more confident, more loving of myself. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It empowered me. And helped me manage a problem that I had since my early days around food as comfort.
 
And to finish this email I want to wish you blessings and abundance in this festive season. I know some people don't like the Christmas season because they feel it's fake. If we go back to our pagan roots, it is the celebration of candles, lights, and warm food in the middle of the winter and at the Winter Solstice (tomorrow) time. So happy celebration of this season.
 
With love and light

Inspiration

We all need inspiration. I never thought that I would be a source of inspiration.

But the last week, I went on the radio as a guest, for the first time of my life. For those who know me privately it's like a huge deal. And it was very exciting. It all happened so quickly. I had an inkling for quite some time to contact the community radio of my neighbouring village to get interviewed as an artist taking part in the Christmas Art Market on the 6th of December. Yes only in a couple of days. I have to get back to my studio quickly to do one more piece of art. I have done a serie of angels for the market and each has such a different personality it's almost weird.

Anyway, I know that quite a few of the artists taking part in the Severn Vale Trail were interviewed on the Thornbury radio last May. Thornbury FM only broadcasts twice a year for about a month. And when it went on air again in November, I thought I must contact them to get interviewed. And then I just got too busy with other things. But then last Tuesday (I can't believe it was only a week ago), I got an urge to call the radio to ask for an interview. And it so happened that I was walking down the street and there was a poster with their phone number. I took it as a sign.

I called and the lady at reception was very polite and said they would call me back very soon. And true to her words, a gentleman called Chris called me within an hour. Unfortunately, he said all the slots had been allocated as there was only a few days left of broadcasting. I said it's not a problem and maybe he can think about it for next April when the radio comes out of hybernation but my angels had decided otherwise. I finished the conversation by giving him my website and said that if he had any cancellation, I would be more than happy to come round.

Only a few hours after our very civil conversation, I received a call from Chris saying that there had been a cancellation and could I come for a thirty minute interview on the following Thursday at 10.10. Now that was extraordinary on many counts. Firstly, I really had said contact me in case of cancellation as a mere manner of speech. Secondly the timing was perfect as it was the only time of that week that I had some spare time. Now how incredible is that?

Not only the interview went well, it was a very pleasant experience for me. I always ask every morning for my angels to inspire me to be a pure channel of light, healing, wisdom, laughter and guidance and it seems that they took me to my word. We talked about many things like angels, energy, crystals and also a bit about my art and time went so fast that the hour was gone and I felt dizzy. Chris said I inspired him but really I was the one to be inspired. Inspired to speak my truth and to go out to the world and be true to my beliefs. When I left the studio, my angels congratulated me on the good job that I did. And I hope that I gave many people reason to feel loved and comforted that day about the fact that angels are real and that we can ask them for help.

It's important that we all tell our story because we never know who we might inspire by being ourselves. That's the lesson I learnt last week. And what a beautiful way to learn it.

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